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How to Help

Look

In another world, this is fully funded, or doesn't need to be funded at all, and art and creative output is regarded as more important than acquired wealth. But this isn't that world. So we have to do this. It's uncomfortable for everyone involved, I know.

 

Helping us financially gives us the opportunity to pay the contributors and develop the work. With enough help we would  be able to switch to a monthly format for the magazine, hire some editors and readers, get more music for the podcast, and pursue secondary objectives. We would like to keep the electronic version of the magazine free and keep this project going as long as possible, and continued support by those kind enough to offer this makes that a reality.  The alternatives involve either A) charging for submissions, which just feels tacky, or B) surviving long enough to get to do ad reads for expensive underwear and boxes of precooked food, the less said about which the better. So that leaves us with C) ask for money from strangers on the internet. Note: I recognise this entire page is obstensibly pointless at this phase, but better to have it and not need it than balloon in size overnight and be without.

 

Up above, please find the link to the Patreon account for both the podcast and the journal. We're planning on a lot of interesting ways to thank supporters. There's also a tip jar if you're feeling generous. This would go a long way toward hosting costs and expenses and keep our output free. It's appreciated. Obviously.

But Wait! There's More!

Let's say that you're still reading this but you're confused. You like the project but don't have a disposable income and you don't really write, draw, paint, or perform in a band. That's fine. No judgement here. If you want to help but aren't in a position to do much beyond listen, here's some free, quick ways to help us expand out reach:

 

  • If you have the time, the inclination, and the comedy third option, and can spare a few hours a month to read through possible submissions, we would appreciate it. email: samaelscrew@eldritchlake.com for information.
  • Follow on Twitter. Retweet if you feel like it.
  • Listen to the podcasts. If you live with someone, steal their phone and listen to the podcast again. Turn the volume down if you need to.
  • Tell your friends
  • Fall in love with a rich but empty person of a gender of your choice and insist that you will not marry them until they give us half their money (you get the other half) and a developmental deal with Amadisflix
  • Faint at a quaint coffee shop or dive bar, or wherever else you might find young guys and gals and everything in between and when you wake up say "Oh man, I just couldn't stand this bougie music playing right now, guys, if only we were all listening to the new Eldritch Lake podcast."
  • Set up a fake Tinder account as a, well I mean it could be a thumb if you register as female, and catfish ten thousand locals into reading the magazine or downloading the podcast. If it works for instagram models, it can work for us
  • Befriend beloved songstress Katy Perry and ask her to tweet five times a day about this website for your birthday present
  • Same but Hideo Kojima
  • Usurp the ruling elite because their time has come and install a new government that requires every citizen listen to our podcast twice a day
  • Tell your friends again
  • Create a cool reddit page and enjoy the upvotes right up until the page gets brigaded by fans of a rival podcast. Fall in love with one of the brigaders even though people thought you'd marry a moderator. Sing and dance. Oh but no, there's a fight and your new lover's best friend gets stabbed and in retaliation your lover stabs one of your moderators. They run from the law. You plan a secret rendezvous but between an attempted assault on one of your friends and an irate shitposter this meeting proves to be your last as your lover is gunned down in a basketball court. They die in your arms. You sing once more and once more only. But the Reddit page gets some media buzz which we very much appreciate
  • Offer to fully translate every single word written or spoken in multiple language gratis so we can find a niche in South America, Africa, and Asia.
  • If you're friends with a real world Oscar Wao or the next big all girl synth prog rock band, get us in touch please. For all the talk of diversity, it's not like we're Professor X with the ability to see every struggling artist out there
  • Numbers are important. So if you can help make us look bigger than we are in any way, you're the best.

 

And in Return

This is very much a project of love for us. We know how it feels to yell into the void and hear nothing back. We know what having -5 Twitter followers does for confidence (see: our Twitter account). And we can spot a rejection letter from the first three letters. While we may not initially be able to offer money you in all honesty probably deserve, we do want to build and grow and take everyone involved along for the ride. We don't want to be one of those Literary Magazines that forget about even their successful submitters once the issue is out. Nor do we want to be like one of those writing schools which only remember their alumni once they have a six figure deal in place. This is as much about creating a network of motivated and ambitious artists as it is making a magazine every two months.

 

Which is the long way around to say we follow back.